Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
