Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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