some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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