By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
