Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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