Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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