Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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