the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
