i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
