Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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