with your own penis?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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