2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
