i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
