He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
