So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
