I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
