I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize