How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
