Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
