So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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