So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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