she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
