Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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