so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
