I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
