I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
