are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
