If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
