I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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