he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
