So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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