so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
