I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
