You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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