Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
