Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
