i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Someone shit on the floor
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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