OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
