Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
