It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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