So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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