Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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