Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
