She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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