ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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