Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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