he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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