I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
