We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my being single is dangerous.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
