I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
