This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
