Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
