it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
