His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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