I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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