cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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