Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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