Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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