In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
