yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
