How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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